Keeping or scattering ashes in Queensland: what you can do

You can keep ashes at home for as long as you like, divide them between family, scatter them somewhere that mattered, or have them interred at a cemetery. Nothing has to be decided quickly. If you are scattering on land you do not own, including a beach, a park or a reserve, ring whoever looks after that place first. Most say yes, they simply like to be asked.

This is the question families ring us about weeks after the cremation, usually apologising for bothering us. It is not a bother. The ashes come home and then the house goes quiet, and at some point someone says out loud, so what do we do with them. There is no single right answer and there is no deadline. Some families scatter within the month. Some keep the ashes on a shelf for years and only decide when a grandchild gets married or the family finally gets everyone in one place.

What comes back to you, and how much there is

The ashes are delivered to your family, or to a friend you nominate, once the cremation is complete, and that delivery is included in the price. They come back in a plain sealed container that is perfectly fine to keep as it is. Plenty of families never change it. If you would like a decorative urn instead, or something small for ashes you intend to divide, ask us and we will quote it plainly rather than putting a catalogue in front of you.

People are often surprised by the weight and volume. It is more than a jar and less than a suitcase, and it is heavier than it looks. That matters if you are planning to carry the ashes up a headland or out on a boat, so it is worth knowing before the day rather than on it.

Keeping them at home

There is nothing wrong with doing nothing. Keeping ashes at home is common, it needs no permission from anyone, and it is not a decision you are stuck with. Families often keep them for a year or two, get used to the idea, and then scatter when it feels right rather than when it feels urgent.

One practical note. If the ashes stay in the house, tell more than one person where they are and what the plan is. Ashes that nobody has talked about tend to cause an argument years later, usually between people who all think they are honouring the same wish. Five minutes of conversation now saves that entirely.

Dividing them between family

In a region like ours this comes up constantly, because one brother is in Cairns, one sister is in Brisbane and somebody is always in Perth. Ashes can be divided, and plenty of families do it so that everyone has something and nobody has to travel to grieve. Tell us early if that is the plan and we will sort out how they come back to you, rather than you dividing a sealed container on the kitchen bench.

Scattering: who you need to ask

Scattering is the option most families choose in Far North Queensland, and the question underneath it is always the same: are we allowed. The honest answer is that it depends entirely on who owns or manages the place, not on anything to do with cremation. So:

• Your own land, or family land. Your call. A lot of Tablelands families scatter on the property, and some plant a tree over the spot.
• Someone else's property. Ask the owner. If it is a farm, a block or a favourite fishing spot behind a gate, that conversation is the whole process.
• A beach, an esplanade or a council park. This is council land, so ring the council and ask. They are generally accommodating about a small, private family gathering, and they can tell you if there is anything on that day or anything about that spot you would not know.
• A national park or a protected area. Parks are managed by Queensland Parks and Wildlife rather than the council, and they have their own view on what is allowed where. Ring the relevant park office before you plan around a particular lookout or waterfall.
• Out on the water. Common here and usually straightforward if you are on a private boat and well clear of swimmers and moorings. If you are chartering, tell the skipper what the trip is for when you book, not on the morning.
• A cemetery lawn or memorial garden. That is the cemetery's to permit, and there is normally a fee and a form. Ring the cemetery office directly.

Two practical bits of advice from families who have done it. Check the wind, and scatter downwind and low to the ground. And decide beforehand who is actually going to do it, because standing in a circle while everybody politely waits is the part nobody plans for.

Interring, or somewhere permanent to visit

Some families want a place with a name on it, especially when there are grandchildren who will want somewhere to go. Cemeteries and memorial gardens in the region offer niches, wall plaques and garden plots for ashes, each with their own cost and their own rules, and you deal with the cemetery direct. It can be done long after the cremation, so it is never a reason to rush.

Taking ashes interstate or overseas

Families do this often enough that it is worth planning rather than improvising. Flying domestically with ashes is usually fine, and airlines will generally want them in your carry-on in a container that can be screened. Taking them out of Australia depends on the destination country, and some want documentation before the ashes arrive. Ring us before you book the flight and we will tell you what we can provide from our end, so you are not sorting it out at a check-in counter.

Common questions

Do we have to decide straight away?

No. There is no deadline on this and nobody is waiting on you. Keeping the ashes at home while the family talks it through is completely normal, and many families take a year or more. The only thing worth doing early is telling each other where the ashes are and what the current thinking is.

Do you need a permit to scatter ashes in Queensland?

It is not a cremation question, it is a land question. On your own property you decide. On a beach, a park or a reserve you are asking whoever manages that land, usually the council or Queensland Parks and Wildlife, and a short phone call settles it. Most are happy to say yes to a small private gathering.

Can the ashes be split between family members?

Yes, and it is very common when a family is spread between Far North Queensland and interstate. Let us know while things are still being arranged and we will work out the simplest way to return them, rather than leaving your family to divide a sealed container themselves.

Can we hold a memorial at the same time as scattering?

Many families do exactly that, and it tends to be the version people remember fondly. Our guide to holding a memorial after a direct cremation covers the places families around here choose and how simple it is allowed to be.

If you are weighing this up and want to talk it through, ring Shane on 0461 543 517, any hour, or read more about how a direct cremation works.